Decision-making - With or Without God?

The topic of choices has been one of my favorite occupations since childhood. I've always been intrigued - ever since I studied the life of the biblical Solomon - by the way people's decisions send them down different paths. The choices we make between wisdom and foolishness are crucial and they design our lives.

When Michael Hyatt promoted a new book by the brothers Chip and Dan Heath on his blog, he got my attention. I will admit that I  have not yet read Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work, so I can't comment much about the content. But I would like to respond to some excerpts from the book that Hyatt quoted.

According to the Heath brothers, "When it comes to making decisions, it's clear that our brains are flawed instruments." I'd like to know how they define "flawed," and expect that when I read their book, I'll understand what they mean.

But I don't believe human minds were always flawed. Adam and Eve made a foolish, willful choice, but I don't believe their minds were darkened before the Fall. The mind, emotions and will were all damaged by the entrance of sin into the world.

But let me go on to their understanding of "the problem."

The authors, Hyatt explains, point out the "four villains" when it comes to making decisions. Though I don't claim to be as brilliant as these men, I do want to make some observations.

First, they say, "We have too narrow (a) focus. We are guilty of 'spotlight thinking.' We focus on the obvious and visible. We miss important facts outside our immediate view."

I'd agree, totally, but from this perspective. We are merely human. We are not God. We don't live in the outer spans of eternity; we're stuck in the here and now. But we can know God and learn His wisdom. Wisdom, in fact, is seeing life from the eternal perspective of God, the ultimate authority and ultimate standard.

The Heaths suggest, in a first step to counteracting the villains in the decision-making process - "Widen your options." Yes, we do need to think outside the box and unleash our creativity. But the scriptures tell us "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" (Proverbs 9:10). There are options outside mere human thinking and "the knowledge of the Holy One is insight."

Their second villain is, "We fall into confirmation bias. We develop a quick belief about something and then seek out information that confirms that belief."

All of us have a worldview. And we all have a tendency to seek information that validates that worldview. We can be more open-minded, certainly, but the Christian will always be wise to filter information through the Word of God. Before we make a decision, we should ask, does this new idea or information align with scripture? the wisdom of the world is foolishness with God (1 Corinthians 3:19-20; Colossians 2:8). The Heaths say, "Reality-test your assumptions." What better reality is there than the truth and wisdom principles of the Bible?

Third, they say, "We get caught in short-term emotion. We are too emotionally connected to the decision and struggle with being appropriately detached."

I would agree there. They say, "Attain distance before deciding." And that is where I think prayer makes a difference for the believer. We can step back and trust the One who knows all things for guidance when we are frustrated, confused, paralyzed with fear or lacking confidence. We can ask God for clear direction and wisdom (Psalm 25:4; James 1:5). We can hand over our decision to Him, pray for direction, and either wait patiently for His leading or move forward when He makes the next step clear. Trust and acknowledging God's control are key responses in decision-making (Proverbs 3:5-6).

And finally, the Heath brothers say, "We are guilty of overconfidence. We assume that we know more than we actually do know and jump to conclusions, thinking we can accurately predict the future."

I'd really agree there. Proverbs 3:7 tells us "Be not wise in your own eyes." Our pride can cause us to make wrong decisions. The Heaths do say, "Prepare to be wrong." The problem is, overconfidence - or even powerful self-confidence - will never take us as far as God-confidence. Our thinking is weak, limited and temporal compared to the wisdom of God. Making decisions based on the Word, will, and ways of God will encourage spirit of humility and teachability in us. And those are good attitudes to have in the decision-making process.

Let me hasten to say that I am eager to read Decisive, because I think it will offer many positive tools and strategies to help people (myself included) make better choices. But I'm going to admit right now that I have four perspectives.  

When making decisions as a biblical Christian:

1. I rely on the authority, standards and character of God.
2. I seek the wisdom of God in the scriptures (and through godly counsel).
3. I pray with a spirit of surrender and expectancy.
4. I realize my needs and come to God with a humble, teachable spirit.

I think those are good choices for making all decisions. Wouldn't you agree?

Infertility: Waiting for God

In my 40-plus years of ministry, I have only counseled one girl who struggled with infertility. This was in the beginning of my ministry, and to be honest, I floundered over what to share with her. In past years, this was an issue few seemed to want to address and I couldn't find resources. In recent years, however, some Christians are speaking up and sharing their hearts and the truth of scripture.

My friend April Motl and her husband Eric - founders of Motl Ministries - wrote a helpful devotional, Waiting for God to Fill the Cradle.  I recently interviewed April prior to Infertility Awareness Month. (Infertility Awareness Week is April 21-27.)

April, what led you to write your book, Waiting for God to Fill the Cradle?
 The book encompasses a lot of our own journey through Scripture and processing the emotions that come with an empty cradle. Infertility wasn’t something I ever imagined would be part of my life. I also never imagined I would write on such a personal topic, but, as God characteristically works in ways we wouldn’t expect, writing on infertility was the first writing ministry door He opened. 

I was deeply touched by the number of women and couples who responded to that first article and their need for the same truth and encouragement we’d found in God’s Word.

Why did you write the book in a devotional format rather than a more scientific approach?

We wrote a devotional purely based on Scripture instead of science because we didn’t feel called or qualified to address the science behind infertility (IF). Besides, as a woman who’s wrestled with infertility, I can honestly say how tired I was of everyone in the world pouring in with their answers - both physical and spiritual - about how to get pregnant. 

This book isn’t about getting pregnant. It’s about processing your infertility in a way that brings hope and healing. It’s a book about allowing God to take this place in your life and your marriage, offering it to Him and seeing Him reach through what feels so empty to bring His fullness.

How can couples use this book – or it is more for women?

The book is designed for couples, but one spouse can certainly go through it alone. There are four weeks of study and activities. Each week contains five daily devotionals, one set of couples’ questions to facilitate discussion and healthy emotional/spiritual processing, and one day of Scripture prayers based on that week’s set of devotionals.

Is infertility a growing issue, or is it simply getting more “press” today?

I think it is growing issue. Speaking from a scientific point of view, infertility-inducing STDs are more prevalent than ever, abortions often leave women with fertility issues, we live in a world full of hormone-disrupting toxins and stresses, and many people leave family building until much later in life. 

So yes, infertility (which actually isn’t just not having children but includes hampered fertility after six months to a year of trying) is a growing issue in our culture.

Why is this a topic not many talk about in our culture?

It hurts. People have said the most outrageous things to me. They don’t mean to be hurtful, they just don’t understand. IF isn’t the heartbeat of our ministry, but of all the issues I’ve written or taught on, this one attracts the largest number of attacks. And for something so deeply personal and potentially identity-defining to be yanked out of you and placed under someone else’s microscope ... it can just be really painful.

How do you encourage couples who are infertile when they feel like “failures” in childbearing?

We tell them that they’re not alone. That’s the beauty of the stories in Scripture. Science gives us stats, but God gave us real flesh and blood stories to tuck our hearts into. We tell them what God’s Word tells all of us: you aren’t alone, God sees you, He loves you and He has a very good plan for your life!

What do you say to couples who might feel God is unfair or unloving for not giving them a child?

Wow! I can totally relate to that emotion. I don’t know why He hasn’t given us children, but I am confident in His goodness and He would never withhold something good from His children. So having children must not be good for us, or isn’t good for us right now.

Would women who don’t have a problem with fertility benefit by reading this book? If so, how?

Waiting is a theme most of us can relate to regardless what we’re waiting for! God develops patience, faith, humility and endurance in all His kids through waiting. Also, since IF affects 12 to 28% of couples, reading this book could make a person a better-equipped friend. 

Before our journey with infertility began, I’d watched church groups pray over couples with empty cradles, but after the faith-filled laying on of hands, they didn’t know what else to do with them. This book offers encouragement and truth that could be very beneficial for women’s groups, Bible studies and churches to have in their arsenal of tools.

Thank you, April. I appreciate your honesty and compassion for others. God bless you and Eric in your continuing ministry to so many who need to understand God's heart. 

Thoughts to consider from Motl Ministries:

• Not having children is not a mistake. Not a failure. Not the absence of God working in our lives.
• Sometimes grief comes from something taken away, yet it can be just as real and harder to articulate when it comes from something never given.
• It isn't what I have or don't have that defines me. It's the words of my Maker.

Eric and April Motl serve their church in Southern California.

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Heritage and Legacy

Would you rather pass down a heritage or a legacy? How about both? Examine the definitions of "heritage" and "legacy," and you will note both indicate something passed from one generation to another. 

"Heritage" is normally understood as the culture of a person that is received from family members or even the community. For example, we speak of a national, cultural or religious heritage. Although pieces of our heritage might include some family heirlooms and photos, the term is more general, abstract and non-specific rather than concrete. The heritage we pass down might be a set of values or beliefs, music, even a family's favored foods.

On the other hand, "legacy" -  which can either have a positive or negative connotation - is a lesson or part of our history that we pass down  to the next generation. For example, my husband's father, Bob, has a strong work ethic. At a time when most men his age retire, Dad Wilson scurries all over the docked USS Midway in San Diego, working as a docent in the ship, a functioning naval museum. The legacy of "the joy of work" is a lesson well understood by his children and grandchildren.

I've thought a lot about those terms in recent days. (I guess that's something people do with age.) I keep wondering what my children and grandchildren will remember and "receive" from me when I am gone.

First there is heritage. I want them to understand some of their national heritage - a rich mixture of some seven cultures. Christmas is usually the time I pass this down to them. Every year we make Danish Springerle cookies to celebrate my husband's side of the family, and we hide a pickle ornament in the Christmas tree to remind them of my family's German heritage.

But I also want them to understand their strong Christian heritage. I want them to understand the worldview that arises from biblical beliefs. I want to pass down my Bibles - most of them contain notes and quotes from years of study and ministry. My huge regret is that I didn't journal, and I didn't document all my prayers and answers to those prayers through the years. God's faithfulness is a huge part of my life. It's not too late to start recording what God has done as an encouragement to my family in the days to come.

1 Timothy 5:8, referring to financial and supportive provision, says, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." As I read those words today, I thought, "I want to provide for my family's spiritual support, as well.

And I notice that God leaves a "heritage" to mankind as well. "Behold," wise King Solomon wrote, "children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." Unfortunately, many in our culture foolishly reject that wonderful gift through apathy, neglect or worse, abortion.

God's heritage to us are the beliefs that align with His Word - values that honor Him and enable us to live in harmony with His will.

And then there is legacy.  I hope that my children and grandchildren will pick up my spiritual history - the joy of loving and serving God.

I want them to learn some of the lessons God has taught me through the years, and I want to take time to record them before it's too late.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 gives us ways to teach God's words that are on our heart to our children (and grandchildren): "... talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

How about you? What will you pass down to the generations to follow? 

Maybe you never married. You don't have children or grandchildren. You can still share your heritage and pass down a legacy to other relatives, people you mentor, children who suffer in dysfunctional families, prison inmates, etc. Consider all the possibilities you have to share and influence others.

People will "receive" something from you - either negative or positive. If you are wise, you will build a heritage that blesses others. If you love the Lord, aim to create a God-honoring legacy for your family and friends.

Six Things to Pray for the Persecuted Church

The plight of the persecuted church should move us to prayer. The writer of Hebrews said, "Remember those who are in prison." I need that reminder over and over again. Some recent reminders: 

• To the alarm of human rights advocates, a 15-year prison sentence was recently given to a woman and her seven children by an Egyptian court. The reason for the harsh sentence? Conversion to Christianity. 
• As I wrote this post, Pastor Saeed Abedini, an American citizen born in Iran, was facing trial in Tehran - arrested by the Iranian Revolutionary Guard - for his previous Christian work in Iran. 
• Earlier that month, Christian pastor Yousef Naderkhani was released (again) after being re-arrested on Christmas Day ... to complete a prison sentence commuted earlier in 2012. His attorney still remains in Iran's brutal Evin Prison.

There are hot spots of persecution all around the world. These days, we tend to focus on persecution by Muslims.

Raymond Ibrahim, a Shillman Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center, noted in an article for the Gatestone Institute last October, "...such persecution is not 'random,' but systematic and interrelated." It is rooted, he said, "in a worldview inspired by Sharia."

Persecution of Christian believers "typically fits under a specific theme," Ibrahim said, "including hatred for churches and other Christian symbols; sexual abuse of Christian women; forced conversions to Islam; apostasy and blasphemy laws that criminalize and punish with death those who 'offend' Islam; theft and plunder in lieu of jizya (financial tribute expected from non-Muslims); overall expectations for Christians to behave like dhimmis, or second-class, 'tolerated' citizens; and simple violence and murder."

The article included an update on jihad killings, Christian displacement, church attacks, accusations of "apostasy, blasphemy, proselytism," and dhimmitude - including general abuse, debasement and suppression. In that report, persecution, imprisonment and murders spanned the Middle East and Africa as well as Pakistan and Uzbekistan.

My purpose here is not to post a tirade against Islam.... or even the Islamists - terrorists who have hijacked their religion. There are Christians incarcerated in atheist Chinese prisons and North Korean prison camps as well. International Christian Concern offers a map that reflects the 30 most recent persecution reports from around the world. Voice of the Martyrs (VOTM) created this picture (right) - a powerful reminder to remember to pray.

My burden today is this: Christians, we must remember our brothers and sisters around the world who are standing for their faith against the enemy's attacks. And by enemy, I mean Satan. He is the instigator behind every attack, every attempt to smash the work and testimony of God's children. Satan is the one who has threatened God's called out ones since the book of Genesis, into the days of the early church and still today.

As a college student, years ago, the perceived enemy was godless Russia and the Soviet machine. I remember praying for brothers and sisters in Siberia, persecuted and dying for their faith. The story of Haralan Popov's torture and starvation in a Bulgarian Communist prison, recounted in Tortured for His Faith, broke broke my heart and inspired my love and prayers for the persecuted church. A college friend named Kathy sent Bibles to Russia, and I wept as I read her newsletters about the desperate conditions of these dear believers.

Today, I am still moved by Christians in many lands who suffer at the hands of cruel oppressors. And once again the Lord spoke to my heart: "Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body" (Hebrews 13:3 ESV).

How do we "remember"? 

We stay informed ... we empathize ... we pray ... and perhaps we give from our resources. It's so easy to relax in "cushy" America with all our possessions and amusements, so easy to forget about believers who dread waking up for fear of torture, or wait in prisons for their appointment with death.

I don't think God means for us to sit around in depression. He expects us to serve with joyful obedience. But we can't forget the persecuted saints ... we can't wait until each year's "International Day of the Persecuted Church" (IDOP) to pray.

Imagine for a moment what it would be like to wake up in an Iranian prison ... or to be abused physically ... or to watch your church burn ... or to see your family killed. This is what Hebrews 13:3 is saying. We who are in the Body of Christ must be in the moment with the body - especially those who suffer for the name of Christ. We must  remind each other to care. 

We must do whatever it takes to remember. One family tied pieces of rope around their wrists to remind them to pray for the Persecuted Church (photo above).


What can you pray? Start with these six things:

1. Pray for endurance - the prisoners' faith, faithfulness and courage.
2. Pray for their health. 
3. Pray for the families of those in prison - they suffer in their loved one's absence.
4. Pray for justice.
5. Pray for protection for churches in countries hostile to the Christian message.
6. Pray for power - for the Word of God to prevail in spite of persecution.

Don't assume they are simply longing for rescue. Bonnie Gray at Faith Barista noted that Todd Nettleton, Director of Media Development for VOTM, wrote her, saying:  "Our persecuted family is not asking us to pray that the persecution will stop. They're asking us to pray they will remain faithful in spite of the persecution and pressure they face."

Did you get those first words? "Our persecuted family ...." We are all family in Christ. And they're asking us to pray they will be faithful. (Oh, that we were faithful to pray.)

Believe me, I am not saying these things without a huge measure of personal shame. I get busy, distracted, indifferent. My mind fiddles with lesser things. I forget. And I grieve when I forget.

Let's do better. The persecuted church is real, friends, and our intercession must match their desperate need.

Wise Author Points Women to Refuge in God

I met Kathy Howard at CLASS writer's conference in New Mexico, and we renewed our friendship at the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA) conference a few years ago. I found Kathy to be charming and fun, deep and wise, and I cannot think of Kathy without a descriptive phrase coming to mind. She is a "Woman of the Word."

The author of several Bible studies and helpful Bible tools (Fed up with Flat Faith; Before His Throne, God's Truth Revealed, and Unshakeable Faith), Kathy always directs women to the truest, surest source of help and hope. Her new book, God Is My Refuge: 12 Weeks of Devotions and Scripture Memory for Trouble Times, is both timely and rich.

In this interview, Kathy explains why her book will make a difference in women's lives.

1. How can this devotional book help and encourage Christian women?

Christian women are not immune to trials and difficulties. In fact, Jesus clearly warned His followers that we will have trouble. We live in a fallen world and the effects touch everyone. However, believers have a safe place to go in the midst of trouble.

Our God invites us to take refuge in Him. He is our “refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.”

Most Christians believe God can help, but many don’t know where to go in the Bible to find the comfort, peace, and guidance He longs to give. God Is My Refuge provided the direction Christian women need to discover, understand, and apply the “ever-present help” only God can give.

2. What makes God Is My Refuge different from most other devotionals?

God Is My Refuge is more of a purposeful quite time guide. The overall intent for the book is to help women discover the help God offers in times of difficulty. Each day’s devotion includes the following components:

• Scripture reading of 5 to 8 verses
• Brief illustration and commentary on the verses
• Three questions for personal reflection and application
• Prayer prompt
• Memory Minute

Each of the 12 weeks focuses on a specific area of trouble like financial need, illness, broken relationships, grief, or fear. Each week highlights a verse that the reader is encouraged to memorize to internalize God’s truth. The daily “Memory Minute” gives quick, practical steps to facilitate memorization.

3. Tell us about how God used this book in your life while you were writing it.

Not long after I began working on this devotional our family entered a time of crisis. God used every moment I spent searching His Word and studying His promises to minister to me in my time of trouble. I needed what I was preparing for others. He comforted me with His Words of love. He filled me with the peace that can only come from Him. He strengthened me with the presence of His Spirit. God has truly been my refuge and ever-present help.

4. This devotional includes a Scripture memory component. Why is this important?

Memorizing God’s Word solidly entrenches it in your heart and mind. When you internalize His truth like this, God can use it to minister to you in powerful and personal ways:

• Provide you with comfort, encouragement, peace, and strength (Colossians 3:15-16; Psalm 1:1-3)
• Give you guidance and wisdom (Psalm 37:31; Psalm 119:24, 98, 105)
• Foster your spiritual growth (2 Timothy 3:16-17; Hebrews 4:12; 1 Peter 2:2)
• Prepare you to share your faith with others (1 Peter 3:15; Acts 18:28)
• Fill you with joy and pour out His blessings (Psalm 119:24, 47, 103; James 1:21-25)

5. Memorizing Scripture overwhelms many Christians. How does God Is My Refuge help readers overcome this?

Memorizing Scripture is often overwhelming because we are looking at the “big chunk.” We see the end – having a verse or section memorized – and think “there’s no way I can do that!” You’ve heard the old saying about how to eat an elephant? The answer is “one bite at a time!” 

The same is true with memorizing Scripture. This devotional gives readers small, daily, doable steps to help them succeed. One bite at a time, until the verse is memorized! We also review all the verses throughout the course of the devotional to help them stick.

6. What is the main takeaway of God Is My Refuge?

Christians will have trouble in this world, but God is there is help us in the midst of it. He will not leave us to stumble around on our own. He has the desire and power to help us. We just have to turn to Him. This devotional helps us do just that!

For more information about God Is My Refuge, and to download a free day’s devotional, visit Kathy’s website: http://www.kathyhoward.org/god-is-my-refuge/

 You can also purchase a copy of God Is My Refuge on Amazon or at Christianbook.com.