Romance in Marriage—Yes!

I listened to two Christian women discuss romance in marriage and found the conversation both insightful and frustrating. One said there is no place for romance in a Christian marriage. “We need to grow up and be mature,” she said, “and get on with serving God.” The other advocated “whatever it takes” to keep a marriage alive, especially in the sexual relationship. The first perspective was foolish and the second required wisdom to avoid sin!

“Romance” is not essential to have a Christian marriage, but it sure does make for a pleasant experience! In contrast, there are worldly methods of “enhancing” marriage that are clearly outside biblical standards of purity—watching pornography, for instance. In addition, Christian spouses must also be careful not to violate a partner’s conscience. Selfless love, described in I Corinthians 13, is the hallmark of biblical marriage.

In between the women’s two extreme viewpoints is a biblical, satisfying perspective. Some Christians will be more comfortable with a clear but more subtle approach to romance, such as in The Act of Marriage by Dr. Tim and Beverly LaHaye. Others desire more creative (yet biblically-positive) suggestions such as those in Red-Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrel. What is helpful to one might be intimidating to another, but all believers must stay rooted in the wisdom of the Word of God. For a list of helpful scriptures, see “Resources / Topical Scripture Studies / Marriage” on my website - heartchoicesministries.com.

We must be careful not to quickly condemn other married Christians for their romantic choices. Certainly, the Song of Solomon is pointed and clear about romance and even sexual technique! God is the author of creative expression, and He is not silent on the subject.

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