8/19/09

Are You a Flirt?

Ever been to a pig farm? Not a pretty sight. Never once have I seen a filthy sow sporting finery and bling. It’s incongruous. Dress them up; pigs are still pigs.

This incongruity is noted in Proverbs 11:22: “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” Proverbs has much to say about the seductive woman, the woman with no discretion. The seductive woman is a flirt. She uses her words, ways, and wiles to cause men to lust in their hearts. In the Old Testament, God warned about the women of Zion—His chosen daughters—who pranced around, “flirting with their eyes” and using the bling of their day to get men’s attention; and God brought judgment on these women! (Isaiah 3:16-17)

We tend to think of seductive women as flirtatious single women who are on the prowl for men, but Proverbs 6:23-25 and 7:4-5 speak of the “wayward wife” who uses seductive words. Women, no matter their position in life, must be careful not to practice flirtation or seduction with the men around them. It is not “innocent flirting.” Some women feel they must flirt to validate their worth. Single women may feel they have to flirt to communicate their interest in a man. But flirting is an attempt to play around with someone’s thoughts and emotions—and that is always wrong. [By the way, it’s not just women who try to flirt and seduce!] 1 Timothy 5:2 instructs all believers to treat each other as family members—with absolute purity. There are plenty of ways to communicate our thoughts, emotions, and interest to others without resorting to seduction.

In contrast, the godly woman knows that true beauty comes from within—from a worthy spirit that is feminine, gentle, and quiet (1 Peter 3:3-6), a spirit controlled by the Holy Spirit. A woman with a gentle, quiet spirit does not insist on personal rights or demand her own way. She is not pushy or manipulative. She clothes herself with Christ, and doesn’t think about ways to gratify the desires of her sinful nature (Romans 13:14). She guards her purity of mind and body, not wanting to cause men to stumble into sin (Matthew 5:28). A godly woman chooses wisdom and discretion. Remember the pig!

What do you think about this topic? Where do you draw the line between having fun around men and not-so-innocent flirting? How do you know when you've crossed over into a dangerous area? We're talking about wisdom here.

For more help, see Pursue Wisdom with Passion.

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