9/22/10

Focus God-ward for a Stronger Marriage!

Dave Veerman, Christian humorist, got it right in so many ways concerning marriage in his "Before and After the Marriage Vows."*

Before: He was attracted to her sparkling, outgoing personality ~ the life of the party.
After: He is frustrated that she's the last one to leave ... church, a social, a committee meeting, an unexpected conversation with a stranger at the store....

Before: He was fiscally responsible, financially secure.
After: What a miser and cheapskate!....

Before: She was attracted to him because he was the strong, silent type ~ rock solid and steady.
After: He's so quiet ... and boring!

Before: What a great figure!
After: Can't we eat something besides tofu and sprouts?....

Before: What a free spirit she was ~ exciting and uninhibited.
After: The house is a mess!

Marriage quickly re-adjusts our rose-colored glasses. Before long, if we're not careful, we take the wedding vows lightly, and forget marriage takes hard work and patience.

One of the powerful lessons I learned as a young wife was that my husband and I would tend to have problems if we kept gazing at each other ~ because we'd be sure to find some problems as the honeymoon ended and the newness of marital bliss wore off.

A wise man taught my husband and I to always see our marriage as an equilateral triangle. My husband is at one corner of the triangle's base, and I am at the other corner. Then, we both look up to the top of the triangle, which represents God. The beauty of this illustration is that the closer each of us gets in our relationship with God ~ when we fix our eyes on the Him ~ the closer we are to each other as a couple.

It's true! Whenever we feel tension in our marriage, it's always been because we've shifted our focus to our partner in a self-serving or critical way. The more my husband and I focus on the Lord as individuals, the more unified we find our marriage.

Have you who are married found this to be true, as well?

* Excerpt from Happily Ever Laughter, edited by Ken Davis
Focus on the Family/Tyndale, 2010, pp. 87-89.

1 comment:

Marja said...

Yes, this is so true Dawn. We were together for 16 years, but never married (quite common in Holland), but when we became believers we got married (9 years ago). That was truly the beginning of a new life (in many ways!). We were no longer two, but three, Jesus became the center of our relationship and everything changed for the better.
Great post Dawn, thanks.