How Can You Support Your Pastor's Wife?

I love my pastor's wife. She is a godly, discreet woman who has her priorities straight. I was moved to pray for her today after I read a challenge posted at Revive Our Hearts' women's ministry.

The document begins: "A pastor’s wife is often in the shadow of the man who fills the pulpit every Sunday. Most of the time, she is pleased that God has called her husband to this place of selfless service, but there are days when she wishes for a more “normal” life. She listens to her husband’s dreams for the ministry, and creates a safe haven for him when it seems he has no friends. She loves and respects him, prays for him, and serves him. But who will listen to, encourage, and pray for her needs?" ~ 31 Days of Praying for Your Pastor's Wife, Revive Our Hearts

My pastor's wife is human. Though deeply respected, it would be wrong to prop her up on a pedestal. Like any woman, she needs encouragement, support, and friendship. But more than anything else, she needs our prayers.

The Revive Our Hearts challenge offers specific things to pray for concerning her. Some of the challenge prayers are so crucial to the success of the local church. Here are a few of my favorites:

  • For one, I need to pray that God will protect her responses to her husband, and for the protection of her marriage. So many churches experience chaos because the lead home in the church ~ the pastor's home ~ fails. The enemy wants to destroy every marriage represented in church leadership.
  • I need to pray that God will bring my pastor's wife godly friends and encouragers. Perhaps this isn't so necessary to the woman who is naturally gregarious and "friendly," but quieter personalities may hesitate to reach out. All pastor's wives need to be discreet and careful ~ and I can pray my pastor's wife will guard her tongue ~ but some pastor's wives limit their friendships. I can pray that God will hand-pick appropriate, helpful relationships for her.
  • I can pray that my pastor's wife will make wise lifestyle choices ~ not only as an example to women, but also to protect her own health. I can pray that she will find time to rest from the natural stresses of ministry. I can pray that she will use all her time wisely, protecting her God-given priorities.
  • Having been a pastor's wife in the past, I know how the enemy tries to attack contentment. It's especially tough when church members complain a lot. I can pray that my pastor's wife will be patient and content ~ living in God's grace with a grateful, choosing-joy heart.
  • I can pray that, while she is committed to stand for truth, she will have a spirit of love and unity, and avoid anything that might cause unnecessary division in the church.
  • Knowing how the enemy loves to seek and destroy, I can pray that my pastor's wife guards her heart and confesses personal sin quickly.
The 31-day challenge offers 31 ways to pray for the "First Lady" in your church. Again ... check it out, and take time to pray. Each challenge has supporting scripture. You might want to take time to read these passages as you pray.

And while you're at it, drop her a note of thanks or encouragement. Let her know you've prayed for her. Offer to help her with a specific project. If she's a young mom, offer to care for her children so she can have a night out with her husband. Put yourself in her shoes and be creative in ways to lift her up and make her life easier.

You might even create a special "pamper basket" for her on her birthday ... or for no reason at all except to express love. Include a coffee mug (like the one pictured above) or tea cup with a special beverage, a new fun devotional (like one I've co-authored, LOL with God), some pretty note cards, a bookstore gift card ... or even a spa day certificate, if you can afford it!

Your pastor's wife is a precious jewel ~ called of God to a unique place. Your prayers and loving support can help her shine for His glory.


Rick Lawrenson said...

Good post, Dawn. Thanks.

Dawn Wilson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dawn Wilson said...

Thanks, Rick. I appreciate that.

I wish more people could see this post. I know of some hurting pastors' wives (and women's ministry directors) who sure could use some support in many ways.

Shotsi said...

Thank you so much, Dawn. I am a pastor's wife and have felt very alone at times. This also has encouraged me to remember to pray for our lead pastor's wife as well as the other pastors wives in our church. God bless you!

Dawn Wilson said...

Bless you, "Shotsi"... This is why I recently chose to work with a group of women in ministry in the San Diego area (pastor's wives, women's ministry directors, parachurch leaders, etc.). We need to encourage and pray for one another.